Today marks a new beginning. University. Crap. What the heck am I doing?
I'm sure it's absolutely normal to be nervous about starting uni, but is it normal to be petrified?
Have you ever just had an overwhelming fear of failure? Where you don't want to start something just in case you fail to finish?
Well that's how I feel right now.I know it's silly, I know they offer heaps of support, I know it's super hard to even fail uni, but it's still scary.
I also know heaps of mums out there who have studied after their children and been very successful at it, but it's still scary.
Really, I just have to suck it up and realise that I enrolled for a reason. I didn't get accepted by chance either. I am passionate about what I am about to commence studying, it's what I want to do.
I'm sure this is more a case of 'once you get there you'll love it', or at least that's what all my friends are telling me, so I'm going to choose to believe them.
God doesn't give you more than you can handle, and I can do all things through Him who gives me strength. I'm also going to choose to believe and trust that.
Since i've taken some time off work before starting uni, Leon's become accustomed to me being around more. This morning we even had extra cuddle time in bed. So when I got dressed and ready for the day and told him he had to go to school (daycare) whilst mummy went to school he wasn't too happy. In fact he picked up my nightie and told me to put it back on.
Oh Leon how I wish I could just stay at home with you and play all day.
But I know that I am making a difference for our future, so I will also choose not to feel guilty and instead be proud of what I am doing.
I trust that Leon will love me so much more for it one day and he'll continue to be a happy and secure little boy.
So here I go, off to my first lecture. It'll feel strange, like your first day at a new school. Not knowing anyone, or where to sit, or who to sit with. But I'll be fine. I just need to keep reassuring myself and put my trust in the right place.
I'm getting a little excited now :)
My little munchkin ran into my room last night, I guess he just wanted to sleep in my bed. So this is what I got to fall asleep watching
Miss Crosby x
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