So I turned twenty-one the other week, it felt surreal.
But for now lets jump back to February of this year to one of my best friends 21st. She threw this wonderful party on a hot summers night. Many of her family and friends showed up to celebrate all the many achievements she has managed to accomplish in her years so far. I remember standing on to watch her brothers get up to do their speech, speaking with much love for their sister. Then listening to her dad, speaking with such pride about her academic and personal achievements she had accomplished. I remember taking a photo during the speeches and just looking around, so many people gathered together to celebrate one persons life, her birthday.
In that moment I started to feel slightly jealous, maybe even a little sad. It was then that I realised, I was turning 21 this year. It's supposed to be a momentous occasion, a coming of age, welcome to adulthood, everyone celebrating achievements etc etc. I then thought to myself, a lot of my friends who I went to school with were finishing uni, graduating with a degree under their belt, or working their way up in their respective workplaces. Gosh some were buying and/or building houses. What the hell was I doing? Working at a bar? Didn't exactly seem to be something worth celebrating in my eyes.
I then went on a mini emotional roller coaster of feeling very insignificant to my friends. It's not like it's any surprise by now that my life is quite different to theirs, but sometimes it feels like i get slapped in the face with the reality of it all once in a while. Being the year of 21st's for me, instead of being out every weekend juggling one party to the next, many nights were spent home. These are just part of the sacrifices you make as a mum.
Which brings me back to it. My 21st birthday. After my friends party I decided that I didn't want to do a big party, I wanted to skip it. I mean, like I said, your 21st is a welcome to adulthood type of thing and I definitely feel as though I had that party 20 days after my 18th, when I gave birth to my son and was thrusted into this adult life and parenthood pretty fast. And I didn't really feel as though I had achieved anything worth celebrating.
I eventually told my two best friends how I was feeling. They really helped me to see that I can't compare my life to others, it's just useless. Sure some of my friends my age have degrees, great paying jobs and possessions that I don't have, but I have a family, albeit small, I have a son who loves me, adores me and one that i cherish with my whole heart.
I live a good life, a GREAT life. Although this sure as hell isn't the life i imagined to be living at twenty-one, I believe it's better than I could ever have imagined.
So, with the help of my two besties we started planning my 21st. Sifting through Pinterest for party inspiration and how to decorate and what food to serve and bla bla bla. Planning a freakin' party is stressful enough and I had the help of two of the best party planners you'll ever meet. It may not be their actual professions but if they were ever to start up a business, I would highly recommend them.
Anyway, in the week leading up to my birthday and party (2 days apart) so many things did not go to plan, including my little man who had been quite ill for a few weeks leading up. We spent the week in and out of doctors appointments and he spent a lot of time wanting to cuddle and sleep. Was no fun seeing my little baby like that. Even though he was sick and this surely was not a typical lead up to ones 21st, I really didn't care. It showed me how significant my life is and has been. I have this precious boy who depends on me and I have the privilege of looking after, loving and caring for and i've managed to keep him alive ha! How is that not an achievement in its self?
The day of the party I was really calm. A few friends came over to help set up, tidy up, I even had a friend come over unannounced just to fix my car which had broken down earlier in the week (ladies he is single ;) ). Everything was coming together. In the afternoon a friend and I made our way over to my lovely friend and make up artists house Paula's house to get dolled up for the evening. My friend even brought a bottle of Moët to start the celebrations. Paula did and amazing job (as per usual), just what I had wanted. Then it was back to the house to get dressed and wait for everyone to arrive. Before I had left the set up wasn't completely done so when I returned I got to see everything complete. I was so excited, like a little school girl! Everything looked amazing, my friends had really captured my vision even if i did explain it in little blurs here and there! I couldn't wait for the guests to arrive and the party to start!
From start to finish, I had an amazing night. My friend catered the party and everyone was raving about the food. I handmade cocktails and spent hours preparing the bottles and drinks which everyone drank. My sister made an incredible cake, she's got skills!
The time came for the speeches. This part I was honestly nervous about. Initially I had no idea who the heck would even do a speech. So I asked my besties, Melanie and Shannon if they would. I may not have known them since my childhood, or heaps of year in fact, but they have definitely made impact enough in my life to get that role. And I asked my Mum if she would do one on behalf of the family. My mum started with a letter from my Granddad, which he wrote when I was born, it was so beautiful to hear. Then she went on to read embarrassing stories from my three older brothers...stories I don't think i'll ever live down.
Then Mel and Shan got up and did their thang...maybe i'll leave that for another day.
We partied and danced into the early hours of the morning and as I woke up the next day I couldn't help but feel so completely blessed for the life that I have. It may not be the one that I dreamed of as a little girl, it may not be the one i imagined as a teenager, but it's the life that i have and it's a damn good one. Full of so much love, laughter, joy, friends, family and so much life!
I know i'll still have those moments of weakness and insecurities, that's just a part of life. I know at only 21 i'm living a life that's seemingly beyond my years, but I wouldn't have it any other way.
Miss Crosby x
Ps.
My little man slept through my whole party :( turns out he actually had Glandular Fever!
But for now lets jump back to February of this year to one of my best friends 21st. She threw this wonderful party on a hot summers night. Many of her family and friends showed up to celebrate all the many achievements she has managed to accomplish in her years so far. I remember standing on to watch her brothers get up to do their speech, speaking with much love for their sister. Then listening to her dad, speaking with such pride about her academic and personal achievements she had accomplished. I remember taking a photo during the speeches and just looking around, so many people gathered together to celebrate one persons life, her birthday.
In that moment I started to feel slightly jealous, maybe even a little sad. It was then that I realised, I was turning 21 this year. It's supposed to be a momentous occasion, a coming of age, welcome to adulthood, everyone celebrating achievements etc etc. I then thought to myself, a lot of my friends who I went to school with were finishing uni, graduating with a degree under their belt, or working their way up in their respective workplaces. Gosh some were buying and/or building houses. What the hell was I doing? Working at a bar? Didn't exactly seem to be something worth celebrating in my eyes.
I then went on a mini emotional roller coaster of feeling very insignificant to my friends. It's not like it's any surprise by now that my life is quite different to theirs, but sometimes it feels like i get slapped in the face with the reality of it all once in a while. Being the year of 21st's for me, instead of being out every weekend juggling one party to the next, many nights were spent home. These are just part of the sacrifices you make as a mum.
Which brings me back to it. My 21st birthday. After my friends party I decided that I didn't want to do a big party, I wanted to skip it. I mean, like I said, your 21st is a welcome to adulthood type of thing and I definitely feel as though I had that party 20 days after my 18th, when I gave birth to my son and was thrusted into this adult life and parenthood pretty fast. And I didn't really feel as though I had achieved anything worth celebrating.
I eventually told my two best friends how I was feeling. They really helped me to see that I can't compare my life to others, it's just useless. Sure some of my friends my age have degrees, great paying jobs and possessions that I don't have, but I have a family, albeit small, I have a son who loves me, adores me and one that i cherish with my whole heart.
I live a good life, a GREAT life. Although this sure as hell isn't the life i imagined to be living at twenty-one, I believe it's better than I could ever have imagined.
So, with the help of my two besties we started planning my 21st. Sifting through Pinterest for party inspiration and how to decorate and what food to serve and bla bla bla. Planning a freakin' party is stressful enough and I had the help of two of the best party planners you'll ever meet. It may not be their actual professions but if they were ever to start up a business, I would highly recommend them.
Anyway, in the week leading up to my birthday and party (2 days apart) so many things did not go to plan, including my little man who had been quite ill for a few weeks leading up. We spent the week in and out of doctors appointments and he spent a lot of time wanting to cuddle and sleep. Was no fun seeing my little baby like that. Even though he was sick and this surely was not a typical lead up to ones 21st, I really didn't care. It showed me how significant my life is and has been. I have this precious boy who depends on me and I have the privilege of looking after, loving and caring for and i've managed to keep him alive ha! How is that not an achievement in its self?
The day of the party I was really calm. A few friends came over to help set up, tidy up, I even had a friend come over unannounced just to fix my car which had broken down earlier in the week (ladies he is single ;) ). Everything was coming together. In the afternoon a friend and I made our way over to my lovely friend and make up artists house Paula's house to get dolled up for the evening. My friend even brought a bottle of Moët to start the celebrations. Paula did and amazing job (as per usual), just what I had wanted. Then it was back to the house to get dressed and wait for everyone to arrive. Before I had left the set up wasn't completely done so when I returned I got to see everything complete. I was so excited, like a little school girl! Everything looked amazing, my friends had really captured my vision even if i did explain it in little blurs here and there! I couldn't wait for the guests to arrive and the party to start!
From start to finish, I had an amazing night. My friend catered the party and everyone was raving about the food. I handmade cocktails and spent hours preparing the bottles and drinks which everyone drank. My sister made an incredible cake, she's got skills!
The time came for the speeches. This part I was honestly nervous about. Initially I had no idea who the heck would even do a speech. So I asked my besties, Melanie and Shannon if they would. I may not have known them since my childhood, or heaps of year in fact, but they have definitely made impact enough in my life to get that role. And I asked my Mum if she would do one on behalf of the family. My mum started with a letter from my Granddad, which he wrote when I was born, it was so beautiful to hear. Then she went on to read embarrassing stories from my three older brothers...stories I don't think i'll ever live down.
Then Mel and Shan got up and did their thang...maybe i'll leave that for another day.
 |
| My two beautiful best friends, Shannon and Melanie |
We partied and danced into the early hours of the morning and as I woke up the next day I couldn't help but feel so completely blessed for the life that I have. It may not be the one that I dreamed of as a little girl, it may not be the one i imagined as a teenager, but it's the life that i have and it's a damn good one. Full of so much love, laughter, joy, friends, family and so much life!
 |
| Thank you Tim @ bluenova media |
I know i'll still have those moments of weakness and insecurities, that's just a part of life. I know at only 21 i'm living a life that's seemingly beyond my years, but I wouldn't have it any other way.
Miss Crosby x
Ps.
My little man slept through my whole party :( turns out he actually had Glandular Fever!
2 comments:
love you Megan!!
I don't know how to reply....but love to too Jarrad :)
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